When singing won't cut it
by blevinp
Summary: Instead of summoning zombies from his universe, Dipper summons a different horde of zombies during the Scary-oke party. Will Dipper, Stan, Mabel, Crazy Dave and Soos survive, or will it be game over? (Rating this fanfic T just to be safe)
1. Prologue part one: Two government agents

This story is my own modified continuation of the Gravity Falls episode "Scary-oke." However, instead of the normal zombies that Dipper, Mabel, Grunkle Stan and Soos will face, they will face off against one of the most notorious zombie leaders of all time, and his undead army. Will the gang survive the big wave of zombies? Or will their brains be on the menu for a pack of bloodthirsty ghouls? Read to find out...

I do NOT own any part of either the GRAVITY FALLS and PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES, whether it be characters, ideas, defenses, etc. Gravity Falls belongs to DISNEY and ALEX HIRSCH, while Plants vs Zombies was originally developed by POPCAP (I believe they sold the right away to another company. If one of you could tell me, that would be great).

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Agent Powers and agent Trigger are what most other government agents might consider to be an odd team in the United States government. Unlike the other agents, who normally partake in classified operations concerning other countries in the world, Powers and Triggers prefer to hunt down any paranormal activity located in the US. Although the two are dedicated to their work, their attempts of finding cryptids (paranormal beings that have not been fully proven to exist) has been futile. Sure, when sightings of creatures such as the lochness monster appeared on their global radar, the two were quick to investigate. However, just when they arrived to the location, the evidence of the sighted cryptid disappeared (as well as the cryptid, if there was one in the first place). Due to their unsuccessfulness of finding cryptids, the government agents have slowly began to doubt their importance in the US government. Afterall, they spent decades of their lives trying to find cryptids, yet they still have yet to find a single one, and it certainly didn't help that their colleagues were successful in their tasks.

When all hope of proving to themselves of their usefulness seemed to be lost, the two agents managed to receive a powerful, unidentifiable signal on their radar. Throughout their time serving the US government, the two only witnessed a similar signal once, so they were no doubt surprised to receive an almost similar signal again. Powers and Trigger had a hunch on where it was coming from, and indeed it was coming from the previously located area: Gravity Falls. After putting on their suits and earpieces, the two quickly packed their bags and headed off to the sleepy town in Oregon.

AN: This is my first actual fanfic! I indeed have big plans for this fanfic, but which path to choose? I'm new to this sort of writing, so I hope you all enjoy! Please leave a review, as it would be greatly appreciated! Thank you! And yes, I am planning on adding more chapters in the future. The next chapter might take a while due to finals coming up in my school, just so everyone is aware.


	2. Prologue part two: A crazy, old man

AN: Some crucial details will be hidden in the text. Try to find them for future foreshadowing, if that you like to look for those things. If not, ignore this AN.

I do NOT own any part of either the GRAVITY FALLS and PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES, whether it be characters, ideas, defenses, etc. Gravity Falls belongs to DISNEY and ALEX HIRSCH, while Plants vs Zombies was originally developed by POPCAP (I believe they sold the right away to another company. If one of you could tell me, that would be great).

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The sound of its neighbor screaming in agony woke up the tired figure. This has been the tenth time one of its neighbors had their brains eaten by the roaming undead. It pains the figure to know that the zombie apocalypse is a never-ending cycle of pain and misery for those who manage to survive each day, for they have to fear the next day due to the ever-advancing knowledge of a secret mastermind responsible for the carnage brought upon them.

Although the zombie apocalypse lasted about forty-eight non-consecutive days over a thirty two year period (the zombies had to expand their power through scientific approaches instead of brain-eating approaches due to them losing almost every battle with extreme casualty rates), the figure lost many of its friends to the zombies. Sure, the defenses the figure put around its house were great, almost to the point of perfection, but the figure's neighbors had different fates instead of survival. It pained the figure to even realize that, despite sharing its defenses to its neighbors (which were not common weapons associated with a zombie apocalypse), and despite the figure's offers for protection from the zombies each day, every neighbor refused, even though they knew of the fate of their other neighbors due to carelessness. All the infection and pain caused by the zombies brought upon its neighbors caused the figure to act crazier and crazier each and every day. In fact, the figure became so crazy that an out-of-state traveler gave it a nickname before they left the neighborhood (not only to escape the source of the zombie apocalypse, but to also discover more anomalies in the United States). That nickname? Crazy Dave.

Crazy Dave is the last neighbor left standing (besides the traveler who fled to a different location in the US), so Crazy Dave assumes that the zombies will become more relentless towards him and his house unless he were to move out. In response, Crazy Dave plans to flee his now almost-deserted neighborhood with his trusted defenses and save the world from the ever-pressing force known as the undead.

The traveler who fled the neighborhood is the only survivor Crazy Dave knows is still alive (through his gut instincts). The traveler shared the location of where he lived to Crazy Dave before he escaped, the location Crazy Dave will set off towards. After grabbing his defenses, as well as essential materials and supplies such as food and water, Crazy Dave looked back at his house. Memories of selling improved defenses to his neighbors came rushing back to Crazy Dave. Crazy Dave sheds a few tears, and commemorates all his fallen neighbors with a untranslatable "Bwabby-Bwaabo," followed by an uninterrupted silence for three minutes. After doing so, Crazy Dave heads off to the home of the traveler: Gravity Falls, Oregon.

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AN: So! The second prologue is here! There is going to be a few more prologues before I officially start the story. Stay tuned for more!


	3. Prologue part three: Undead beings

I do NOT own any part of either the GRAVITY FALLS and PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES, whether it be characters, ideas, defenses, etc. Gravity Falls belongs to DISNEY and ALEX HIRSCH, while Plants vs Zombies was originally developed by POPCAP (I believe they sold the right away to another company. If one of you could tell me, that would be great).

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The sound of clanging dishes, the loud gnawing of plant remnant, and the constant groan could be heard all throughout dining hall from the few surviving zombies of the latest battle. The zombies despised the outcome of said battle, despite the fact that it was a victory on their part, as the amount of casualties this time were too great; it was almost a full-on massacre of undead soldiers. The dining hall is faintly lit with mostly-demolished lampposts loosely dangling from the ceiling. Most of the dining tables are not occupied, and perhaps never will be at this point. The zombies are interrupted from their meals once their so-called leader enters the dining hall.

The leader, a human scientist who all zombies looked up to in the beginning of the zombie apocalypse for its promises of a world dominated by zombies in the future, now is considered a monster, a fool and a coward. The leader, who used to have a confident, powerful voice often speaks in whispers nowadays, and often hides in the shadows to hide his already-known identity. After a few death stares given to it by the infuriated zombies, and after wiping a few beads of sweat from its forehead, the leader begins to quietly initiate a conversation about its newest ideas and strategies.

"So, I know what you all are thinking," begins the leader, wearing a nervous smile. "We finally managed to obtain another victory! This was a great day indeed, am I right guys? Come on, admit…" the leader stops and leaps back in fright as a zombie slams its fist into its table.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Boomed the zombie that caused the outburst. "YOU CALL THAT A VICTORY, AND EXPECT US RETURN ALL RESPECT TOWARDS YOU AGAIN FOR THE 45TH TIME?! HAVE YOU LOOKED AROUND THE ROOM YET? THIS IS ALMOST NO ONE LEFT! ALL THANKS TO YOUR POOR TACTICS AND APATHY TOWARDS OUR SUPERIOR RACE!"

A moment of silence follows as the leader tries to calm his nerves, and partly succeeds. He continues, "I have to admit. I made many terrible mistakes in those fields, but I promise to make it up to you guys! I swear! All I have to do is to genetically produce more zombies, and…" a different zombie slams its fist into its table, startling the leader yet again.

"ONLY FOR THEM TO DIE OFF AGAIN? AND AGAIN? AND AGAIN? I AM SICK AND TIRED OF ALL OUR FAILURES! WE ALWAYS THINK WE'RE ONE STEP AHEAD OF THAT BLASTED OLD MAN, BUT HE IS THE ONE WHO IS AHEAD, NOT US! HIS DEFENSES KEEP TAKING OUT YOUR NEWLY DEVELOPED ZOMBIES. YOU HAVE BETRAYED US MANY TIMES, AND I HONESTLY FORGET WHY WE SPARED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE! I SAY WE EAT THE TRAITOR'S BRAINS, WHAT DO YOU GUYS SAY?" All the other zombies moan in agreement, and begin to scoot out of their chairs, advancing towards their former leader. All the while beads of sweat pour down the leader's face, and a scream escapes its lips as the zombies finally get to him.

(A few moments later)

"So, now that we no longer have that leader, how are we attempt to begin our 'Reign of the Undead'?" inquires a zombie after the event.

"I have no clue. We have no more guidance, no more scientific advancements. So what do we do?" replies another zombie, "heck, we no longer have a scientist on our side, and if we choose a human again, we could possibly be demolished again. Also, none of us zombies are scientists."

"Are you sure about that?" chimes in a mysterious voice coming from the shadows of the room. The undead turn their heads to a new, cloaked figure as it emerges from its hiding spot. Just like their latest victim, the figure was wearing a lab coat, black boots, and black pants. What really caught the zombies' intention was the head of the stranger. Instead of having a normal, circular head, the new figure's head resembled more of an oval with a huge peach-colored, pulsing forehead, possibly where a brain might be located.

"By those confused and astonished expressions on your faces, I assume you might be wondering who I am." continued the figure. "I go by many names each given to by people from many timelines. I have created many powerful zombies and constructed disasterardly machines in many eras, that almost no one can compete with my scientific achievements. A little birdie told me that you poor soldiers were in need of a powerful leader. I can help you."

The zombies, surprised by the offer of the mysterious figure, group huddled and discussed their options. So far, the zombies are mostly convinced. They can tell that they are in the presence of a powerful zombie, but one question continues to interrupt their train of thoughts. A zombie relayed the question that kept nagging at them, "How are going to help us, scientist?"

The mysterious figure plasters a grin on their face. "Let's just say that I have a few 'little friends' capable of mass destruction at my disposal. Something Crazy Dave won't even see coming, and won't be prepared to face."

With this new found information, the zombies quickly accept the proposal. One zombie, in response of meeting someone with great authority and service, asks "What shall we call our all mighty savior?"

The figure simply answers "Dr. Zomboss."

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AN: So, this is the third prologue to this story. Hopefully you guys have enjoyed the story so far. If you have any feedback on any improvements, please review or pm me. Thanks!


	4. Chapter one: Payment for a party

AN: Finals are so annoying. I'm proud to announce that I have survived the hardships of school yet again, and can't wait to continue! Without further adieu, I present you the first official chapter on this fanfic, (the other previous ones being prologues). Enjoy and review!

 **I do** **NOT** **own any part of either the GRAVITY FALLS and PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES, whether it be characters, ideas, defenses, etc. Gravity Falls belongs to DISNEY and ALEX HIRSCH, while Plants vs Zombies was originally developed by POPCAP (I believe they sold the right away to another company. If one of you could tell me, that would be great). The AN is done now.**

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"Hey Mabel. I know that we've some crazy things over our summer break, like the "lochness monster", a creature made of Halloween candy, and whatnot, but does it seem odd that a grown man is wearing a frying pan on his head like it's the apocalypse or something?" Inquired a preteen boy to his twin sister, Mabel.

"I don't know, broseph." responded Mabel. "This is a party, after all. Some people have different ideas of how to celebrate the fall of Gideon. Besides, I've worn far crazier outfits in the past. Oh! That reminds me! I need to think of our next Halloween costume! How about we dress up as Hansel and Gretel, or Wendy and Soos, or...".

The preteen boy, nicknamed Dipper, loses focus on his sister, and instead looks at the newcomer. Dipper, currently, and throughout the summer, has set his attire to a classical black vest, an orange shirt, tan shorts, socks, black sneakers, and most recently a white/blue baseball cap with a blue pine tree in the front center.

His sister, in contrast to her brother, often switches up her outfits everyday. Despite the summer season, she most often crafts and wears her own sweaters, some which scientifically impossible to be created in the first place. For example, due to the night of the party being a special occasion, she managed to stitch a working boombox into her latest sweater (made of fabric). Like her sweaters, Mabel also wears a variety of skirts and socks. The only part of her outfit that stays the same is her black sneakers. Both her and her brother are twelve years old, soon to be thirteen at the end of their summer break.

"Or how about…" Mabel continues to ramble on, only to pause after hearing the Mystery Shack front door open swiftly, and for the twin's great-uncle ("or as they like to say it, "Grunkle") Stanford Pines to start dashing towards the siblings.

"Do you two know if that man paid for a ticket or not?" pants Stan, as he tries to catch his breath. Although he is middle-aged, Stan does a lot of running during his lifetime, mostly from the police. Proudly dubbing the "Mystery Shack," a shack in the woods that functions as a tourist trap thanks to its not so "mystery" possessions and as a wallet leech, Stan makes a living off of being a con-artist. He sports on his body a business suit, brown sneakers glasses, and mostly notably a fez with a pac-man like symbol on the front center of it. He also carries a cane with an 8-ball attached to the end of it. "I need to make as much dough as possible, and everyone needs to buy overpriced tickets to help make my dreams of fortune become my reality!"

"I don't believe so…" Dipper started before his was interrupted by Stan.

"Then we need to make sure he pays extra for trying to avoid my art of scamming! If we surround him, my plan will 99% work!" The twins reluctantly agree. Afterall, Stan was their caretaker over the summer, and disobeying him might lead a good-old-fashioned noogying. They soon trap the man with the frying pan hat, with Stan being the first to speak. "All right, you old coot! You have to pay up for a party ticket if you want to stay here for the night!"

As the old man turned towards Grunkle Stan to pay for his ticket (with diamond-like gems, to Stan's surprise), Dipper happened to notice that the stranger was also carrying a backpack. Although the backpack was bulky, Dipper happened to notice that the backpack was opened up partly. In the attempts to help the stranger by zipping the backpack up, Dipper happened to take a peak at what the contents were in the bag. Weirdly, the figure had a strange variety of objects in the backpack, such as flower pots, plant seeds, spare change, and most of all, a giant sunflower in the center. With a face. Assuming that the face was fake, Dipper continued zipping the backpack up. Seconds later, something caused the boy to scream, and frantically flee into the Mystery Shack.

The remaining trio had different reactions to the sudden outburst. Mabel ran inside the Mystery Shack to comfort her brother. Stan didn't care, for he was memorized by the gems. The stranger acted in a casual fashion. Afterall, he was pretty sure everyone had seen blinking, sentient sunflowers in the past, right?

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AN: The first chapter is done for now (unless I feel like revisions are necessary in the future). I hope you all have enjoyed it. You should expect faster updates on this fanfic in the future, since I basically have summer break now. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter two: Journals and a phone call

AN: Time for another chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it, and please review! Thanks! Also, sorry for not posting as quickly as I said I was going to. I was partly procrastinating, and I was also hindered by real life stuff.

 **I do** **NOT** **own any part of either the GRAVITY FALLS and PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES, whether it be characters, ideas, defenses, etc. Gravity Falls belongs to DISNEY and ALEX HIRSCH, while Plants vs Zombies was originally developed by POPCAP (I believe they sold the right away to another company. If one of you could tell me, that would be great).**

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"Where is it, where is it, where is it!" That is what Mabel heard coming from her and her brother's room, located in the attic of the Mystery Shack. Mabel opened the creaky wooden door to find her hyperventilating brother frantically flip through the pages of a journal. The journal, being at least a few centuries old, is not an ordinary journal you can find at a local library. The journal, a scarlet red book with a golden spine and a few parts of the cover torn off, explains the supernatural state that Gravity Falls, Oregon has. There also seems to be more than one journal like the one Dipper has, considering the journal has a golden '3' on the front cover of it.

Mabel, who also knows about the journal's knowledge and power, although in a lesser extent, approaches Dipper and asks, "What's the matter, broseph?" Dipper ignores the question, and continues his search. After minutes of rummaging through the book multiple times, Dipper abruptly slams the journal shut.

"Mabel, this book contains all the supernatural aspects of Gravity Falls, right?" Dipper whispered.

"Yeah?"

"And it came from someone who clearly studied the supernatural carefully, right?"

"Again, yeah."

"So why are sunflowers with human features NOT IN THE JOURNAL?!" Dipper's voice escalates at this point, with Dipper hyperventilating at a faster rate than what he was before. He then begins to grasp the sides of his head, as well as walk from one side of the room to the other. All the while, Mabel remains calm.

"Bro, there's probably some explanation in another journal. Didn't Gideon have one?"

"Yeah, but we don't know where it is! We lost it when we busted him for trying to spy on the entire town, remember?"

This information left Mabel stumped for a while. Soon after however, a new idea formed in her head: that maybe her brother missed the page about the abnormal sunflowers. However, she shot this idea down quickly. Ever since Dipper found the journal, he had read it front to cover many MANY times. He knew almost all of the pages and the contents of the book by heart. Just when Mabel was about to run out of ideas, a realization hit her. "Hey Dipper, maybe that old man we saw a few minutes ago is not from around…" A phone down in the living room interrupts Mabel. Dipper proceeds to walk downstairs to answer the phone, while Mabel stays in the attic to test her new hypothesis. After about ten minutes of talking, Dipper returns to the attic.

"Who was that, Dip?" Mabel inquires.

"I don't know." Dipper responds. "The caller didn't give its name. They called to ask about a man named Crazy Dave, and where he was located. They also said that they had a score to settle with the man."

"Why would they call us, though?"

"The caller managed to track down Crazy Dave's position in Gravity Falls via GPS, but couldn't pinpoint the exact location of Dave, so the caller just called the hosts of a local party, our family."

This got Mabel confused. Despite having slightly fewer detective characteristics than her brother, she still liked to participate in the mysteries. She asks Dipper if the caller left any other crucial information.

Dipper continues, "The caller also mentioned how Dave's "special plants" wouldn't be able to survive his wrath, especially the weak plants like the marigolds and sunflowers."

"Wait, bro. We have never met Crazy Dave before in this town, right?" Dipper nods. "And you were trying to find out why that stranger had a weird sunflower, right?" Dipper nods again. "If the caller was talking about how the sunflowers were going to suffer, do you think…"

"...That the man that we saw was Crazy Dave?!"

It seemed like a long stretch to the twins, but it seemed like a plausible theory. The twins quickly rush back outside in order to confront the stranger again.

.:R:.

Meanwhile, Dr. Zomboss and the other zombies pack their bags. Dr. Zomboss laughs maniacally, as he sets his car's (nicknamed Penny) location to Gravity Falls (via GPS). They have a party to crash.

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AN: Again, sorry for the delay. I also want to give you all a quick heads-up. I will NOT be able to work on the fanfic from **July 9th to July 13th, as well as July 23rd to August 3rd.** I have a pre-college summer program during those days. Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter three: Mistakes have been made

AN: Before I begin this chapter, I'd like to clear up a common misconception. In terms of time in the Plants vs. Zombies universe, this fanfic takes place during the first game (Plants vs. Zombies). However, while Dave was fighting zombies in the first game, Dr. Zomboss created the time-traveling car named Penny, and was able to wreak havoc in the different time zones featured in Plants vs. Zombies 2. This fanfic sits well with the Plants vs. Zombies timeline, as we see in the Pirate Seas world (before the first fight) that Dr. Zomboss hints, and I quote, "Its temporal signature is nearly identical to my own creations," with Penny later asking, and I quote, "User Dave, am I the daughter of Dr. Zomboss?" (Thanks to the Plants vs. Zombies wiki for the supply of dialogue). I hope that helps.

 **I do** **NOT** **own any part of either the GRAVITY FALLS and PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES, whether it be characters, ideas, defenses, etc. Gravity Falls belongs to DISNEY and ALEX HIRSCH, while Plants vs Zombies was originally developed by POPCAP (I believe they sold the right away to another company. If one of you could tell me, that would be great).**

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Whether it be to random strangers, paranormal creatures, etc., Dipper often follows the journal's advice to "Trust no one." For example, roughly the first week of summer vacation, Dipper was hesitant to trust Norman, Mabel's first summer boyfriend. Dipper believed that Norman was supposedly a zombie due to his behaviour, and not a normal person. Although Dipper's speculation was wrong (Norman was instead a bunch of salty gnomes in desperate search for a "gnome queen"), the fact that his family was deceived by the facade put up by the gnomes caused Dipper to distrust people/beings who he knew little to nothing about.

When the stranger with the frying pan hat first arrived, Dipper was hesitant to trust the stranger. Sure, his trust issues kicked in a bit, but the stranger seemed to be friendly and not an illusion put up or controlled by the supernatural. However, the recent phone chat with the unknown caller opened a new light. If the caller had a score to settle with a guy named Crazy Dave, presumably the stranger with the sunflower, then Dave could be up to something terrible. Afterall, if the caller and Dave had a score to settle, it could mean trouble, especially if Dave was at the party. Also, the stranger seemed to speak in a unknown, untranslatable language, so perhaps Dave was a supernatural being. One thing, however, was for certain: Dipper needed to find Dave, kick him out of the party, and let the caller handle Dave away from the party.

As Dipper finished making his deductions on Crazy Dave, he and Mabel walked out the front door to the house, only to see the same stranger from before carry a strange weapon, almost as if the stranger was preparing for something. In his hands, the stranger was carrying a flower pot with what seemed to be an army-style pea plant in it. Wearing a military hat, black streaks under its eyes, and having a wide-open mouth with a machine gun barrel in it, the pea plant looked dangerous.

People began to scream and panic, scattering away from the stranger with fear in their eyes. The outbreak managed to attract the attention of two government officials nearby. In search of the origin to the supernatural sightings of Gravity Falls, Agent Powers and Agent Triggers rushed into the party to help calm the townspeople down. Fortunately, Powers and Triggers managed to apprehend the stranger before major damage could be done. However, the pea plant in the stranger's hands began to defend Dave by attacking the agents with a barrage of high-velocity peas (4 peas at a time), stunning Powers and Triggers while the stranger was able to break free.

Dipper, in the attempts of stopping the stranger from causing more trouble, began to flip through the journal at the speed of sound. After finding an untitled spell that could possibly save everyone from the stranger's pea plant, Dipper chanted: "Corpus levitas, Diablo Dominium Mondo vicium!" (Thanks to the Gravity Falls wiki for the typed up chant)

At first, nothing happened. There was silence. Then, a note began to free-fall from the air, landing on Dipper's face. Mabel grabbed the note off her brother's face and began to read out loud at a normal pace, only to slow down after every sentence:

"Dear homeowners. We believe that a man named Crazy Dave has to pay for what he did to our kind. We have also decided to take our anger out on more humans, for we need to even the score. Dave killed many of us for in hopes of stopping an apocalypse. Prepare for a full on assault, homeowners. We will take no prisoners. No one at your party will be spared. Your brains belong to us now.

-Sincerely, Dr. Zomboss (leader of the zombies)."

After finishing the note, a giant robot emerged from a section of the forest surrounding the mystery shack. In said robot, Dr. Zomboss cackles maniacally.

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AN: I hope you guys enjoyed this new chapter! Again, just as a reminder, I will NOT be able to work on the fanfic from **July 9th to July 13th, as well as July 23rd to August 3rd.** I have a pre-college summer program during those days. Thanks for reading! All reviews are appreciated.


	7. Chapter four: A formal greeting

AN: All done with one week of pre-college program! This is most likely the only chapter I will post before the next program I go to. Without further adieu, here's chapter #4 (Also I realized how bad the time lapse was from the two prior chapters. I'm just going to go ahead and assume, hypothetically, that Crazy Dave and Dr. Zomboss' (and the rest of the zombies) starting location was somewhere near or close to Gravity Falls, but not in it, at the start of this fanfic.). Hope you guys enjoy, and please review!

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If you looked at Dr. Zomboss' creation, you would almost be baffled by the superfluous of detail and design. Although it does not technically have a name yet, the evil scientist has a split decision of calling it the "Zombot Oregon Overload" or the "Zombot Tallow-Tron." The machine, being a massive wagon pulled by a mechanical, equally large ox, indicated that the contraption was built, or based on, the Oregon Trail during pioneer times.

Dr. Zomboss is the one controlling the machine, charging towards the pines and Crazy Dave, trampling trees and banging the ground as it turned part of the forest into a wasteland. After almost thirty seconds, Dr. Zomboss reaches the crew of baffled humans, only to stop about twenty meters away.

"So, we finally formerly meet, Crazy Dave." Dr. Zomboss begins, shaking with insanity while doing so. After hearing Dave reply in an untranslatable way, Dr. Zomboss turns his attention to the Pines family. "And what do we have here? More victims for my zombie pals to feed..."

"Sup hambones!" a voice interrupts Dr. Zomboss. It belongs to Soos Ramirez, the Mystery Shack's handyman, and he approaches the gathering. Despite not being the brightest bulb in some cases, Soos is a tech guru at heart. Some might call Soos a big boned man-child, but deep inside, he is one of most kind and caring people living in Gravity Falls. He sports a green t-shirt with a black question mark on the front, along with tan shorts, socks, a brown cap, and brown shoes.

Soos has a hobby of going into wacky places. For example, earlier in the summer, Soos attempted to "become a part" of a videogame in an arcade, literally. His method was to enter the mainframe, only to get stuck in the machine for a few hours. There was also a time where he also attempted to fit in a shoebox when he was about four years old, because he thought his name was "Shoes" (The shoe example I made up, did not happen in the show. Just want to add in another example). So when Soos sees the giant contraption built by Dr. Zomboss, he politely asks the scientist if he could explore the wagon more. Something about seeing the wagon sparked a fire in Soos Due to him not reading the warning letter, nor any indication that Dr. Zomboss was a zombie, he immediately enters the wagon after receiving permission from the evil scientist, despite the warnings from the Pines twins. After a few minutes of "exploring," some zombies began seeping out of the wagons, shuffling towards the Pines and Dave.

Soon after, Soos exits the wagon, now wearing an additional red tie to his previous outfit, while also having a slightly grayer skin color. He begins to moan, stumble towards the Pines and Crazy Dave, and manage to speak a barely audible word, "Brains…". Seconds later, a big "wave" of zombies slowly advance, as well. Dr. Zomboss maniacally laughs as he sees the gang start to run away.

"It won't be too long," Zomboss prophosizes.

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AN: I'm sorry if it seems like the chapters in this fanfic are short (they seem to be for me, at least). However, I don't want to get too carried away and procrastinate any longer when writing larger chapters. I don't know if you guys are good with the general size of the chapters, or if you guys want them to be extended in the future. If you could please review your opinion on the topic, that would be appreciated! Besides that, I have done some thinking about how I want the events of the story to play out. Needless to say, I have a few new ideas… maybe create some of my own plants…


	8. Chapter five: The tape measure

AN: The college trip I was on the two previous weeks was not too well, for I got sick many times during it. However, I should be back to able to continue to write for a while until something else major pops up. I hope you all enjoy chapter 6! (I'm using this chapter as a filler to bring the story along. Sorry that not much will be going on, I just want to create more of a conflict and drive the story more).

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It was certainly a hassle of what happened next. Tears were streaming down the Pines family's faces (but not Crazy Dave's), a mad dash into the forest to escape the monstrosity that was the mechanical wagon, and a constant huffing and puffing sound escaped the gang's mouths as they ran. It began to rain hard, with lightning striking the earth constantly, barely missing them. When the gang believed they were safe in the open, they stopped to catch their breaths in the downpour.

Dipper's face, with rain and sweat dripping from it, turns a fiery red and turns to Crazy Dave. Dipper booms, "This is all your fault, you crazy old geyser! We're stuck in the middle of nowhere thanks to your grudge with that scientist!"

Crazy Dave reacts the same way by pointing to Dipper and saying in yet again an untranslatable language, "Bwabby Boo! Bwab Bwabby Bwobbo!"

Dipper caught onto what Dave was saying, essentially that the zombies were summoned because of Dipper due to the lack of trust towards him.

Dipper fumes back, by replying, "You're the one who attacked everyone!" Only for Dave to reply with a similar message from before, translating to Dipper and his gang showing little to no hospitality on his arrival, despite being a random, complete stranger.

Though the bickering continued on, Mabel's irritation was the cause of the end of the argument, with her angrily shouting, "Will you two can it and keep your voices down?! We have greater problems at hand, and both of you are certainly not helping!"

"Exactly!" Adds Stan, "That the old coot still has money that we can scam… I mean bargain out of him!"

Everyone faced palmed at the remark (even Crazy Dave, surprisingly). Even during a Gravity Falls national crisis, Stan manages to have his mind set to fortune.

Ironically, the interruptions caused by Stan and Mabel alerted Dr. Zomboss of the location of the gang. The sound of trampling of trees, the tremors of the ground, and the fierce wind begin to rapidly accelerate towards the Pines and Crazy Dave.

Dipper began to hyperventilate again. There was no way they can outrun the monstrous tower of terror that is Zomboss' wagon. Fighting head-on was not an option, since the wagon was taller than all of them combined (about 20-20-20ft). Mercy was off the table, nor was bargaining or pleading of any way shape or form. All hope seemed to be lost.

While Dipper was doing this, he didn't realize that a particular tool dropped from his pocket. That tool being a tape measure.

Although many people are unaware on why Dipper carries around the item, Dipper and Mabel swore to secrecy to inform anyone about the powers behind it. The Pines Twins accidentally stole it (they didn't know that they were stealing it) once at a carnival. It initially belonged to Bledin Bladin, a time traveler. However, after an incident at the carnival, Blandin was sent to a special jail known as "time prison." In the end, Dipper and Mabel got to keep their time measuring-tape measure because no one else knew that they stole it or had it in the first place.

Crazy Dave somehow recognized it. Perhaps he saw the stranger (from his neighborhood) use it some for his research. He picked it up, extended the tape a bit, and began fiddling with the device.

"Hey! You stole that Soos! Why I oughta…" Stan began to threaten, only to be stopped by Dipper.

"That's a great idea! We'll go back in time about ten minutes in the past so I won't summon the zombies!" Dipper exclaims. "Now, if you would just hand it to me…".

Crazy Dave was not in the mood to give anything to Dipper. He was still angry about the argument a few minutes ago, and he believed that if he went farther back in time, that he would be able to stop the zombie apocalypse at its source.

The conflict over the tool broke out into a tug of war, with both Crazy Dave and Dipper reluctant to give up. Dipper was holding the slick base while Dave was holding the yellow, extendable measuring tape. Meanwhile, Dr. Zomboss is getting closer and closer to his new victims. In order to have a better chance of cornering the gang, Zomboss has the other undead hide and approach the opening via the concealing forest on all sides. This was too easy. All he had to do was let the conflict between the two fighters escalate while Zomboss and his pals would sneak up, right?

Wrong. One of the zombies at his arsonal was a dancer zombie (a zombie that could play music, dance and summon more zombies to fight). In the belief that the more zombies he summoned would lead to a greater chance of success, the dancer began to play loud music and summon more zombies. Unfortunately for the zombies, Dipper managed to hear the song play. He leaped back in surprise and let go of the tape measure base, causing the tape measure base to slide and slaw against the tape measure end held by Crazy Dave. All four of them, Dipper, Mabel Stan and Crazy Dave, seemed to be surrounded by light. In order to shield their eyes, they all quickly close their eyes for a minute while the brightness of the light covered them.

Once their eyes were opened, the gang's eyes gaped open. The landscape changed from a green forest to a sandy desert. Another wagon, a wagon that resembled a home (but is not Dr. Zomboss' wagon) popped into view. Tumbleweed and cactus could be seen anywhere and everywhere around the gang. The year is now 1850, during the California Gold Rush.

There was almost silence for a few minutes until a groan could be heard from the distance. Then another. Then another…

A horde of zombies all in overalls and dresses appeared. It seemed like although the gang was sent a century and a half back in time, the zombies are still hungry, and in search of gold. And brains…

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AN: I got plans… all new zombies… all new plants… all new environment hazards. Be on the lookout. Also, I have read all your reviews. Some people want more reactions from the Pines family, some want longer chapters. I will try my best to improve in those fields, but I won't make the promise that I will (as the saying goes, "Don't make promises that you can't keep"). Please send me more reviews! I really appreciate them! I MIGHT need some suggestions later on in terms of ideas for new plants, but not for now. I hope you all are enjoying your summer breaks!


	9. Chapter six: Day one

AN: I am so sorry for not posting in a while. I was planning on finishing this chapter about a week ago before my family and I went on a family vacation (I am also sorry for not informing you guys about that. I have no excuses). I also had a difficult time debating with myself on how to write this chapter (how to introduce it, if Dipper and Dave should have another conflict again, etc.), which took me a while to do. I also may or may not have procrastinated by playing video games and watching Youtube videos a lot.

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The light breeze brushed against the sand, with the tumbleweed blowing off into the distance as a result. With a few clouds in the sky, it will not be unbelievably hot, but there will not be a thunderstorm in the near future. The sun cast a pallet of red, orange and yellow colors as it rose from the horizon, while the nocturnal animals quietly scampered into the ground. Overall, it is a peaceful scene. That would soon change

The horde of zombies approaching the Pines family and Crazy Dave were out for blood and brains. To Dipper, it seemed almost goofy that some of the zombies were wearing hats, mainly hats resembling traffic cones and buckets, on their heads, but slightly variant due to the different time period. The journal did not tell him anything in terms of undead headwear. Then again, it was perhaps because the author was not intrigued enough into surviving an apocalypse as long as Crazy Dave has. Although Dipper and Dave are focusing on protecting the lawn from the zombies, Mabel and Stan are preoccupied with other activities.

Mabel Pines, deep in thought, is just as confused as what time period they are currently in as the last time her and her brother went time-travelling. Although her intelligence is great, her knowledge of time periods is a different story. For example, when Dipper and her used time travel at a country fair, both got into a fight over who could control the time machine. However, during the argument, they accidentally went back in time to the pioneer ages, which Mabel confused it with the '70's.' For this reason, Dipper facepalmed when Mabel exclaims, "Where are we? The 80's?!", while staring at the tape measurer

Stan Pines rushes around the wagon, but only for a slightly more unexpected reason than you might expect. He is well aware that this era had no paper currency (The dollar bill was created in 1862, the year the gang is in currently is 1860), and that during this time period gold is high on the market. Instead of worrying about the impending doom, Stan instead grabs a metal detector from under his fez, (don't ask him how he got it there. It may or may not have been stolen), as well as a pickaxe from the side of the wagon, Grunkle Stan went to work finding all the metals and potential money-makers as he can. Once he first detects a metal, he begins to dig at a inhumane digging speed. Needless to say, he wants dough, really badly.

While Dipper ponders the meaning of the spruce of zombie intellect, Mabel wondering what the year currently is, and Stan milking the moment of riches, Crazy Dave is getting ready for the onslaught already. Dave unstrapped the backpack he was carrying around, unzipped the zipper and began to pull out some plant seeds. It seemed fairly easy, almost like it is the start of a new zombie apocalypse instead of the middle of the old one. Dipper stops for a moment to glance at Dave, only to be infuriated once again as he realizes what Crazy Dave's plan of action is. Instead of using an actual weapon, Crazy Dave was going to use the same pea plant that attacked the government agents at the party. With the sole intention of stopping the escalation of possible failure of protecting themselves against the horde, Dipper snatches the backpack from Dave.

"Are you crazy, old man?!" Dipper roars, "Last time you planted something, you started this zombie outbreak! Maybe I should be the one to plant your plants, instead of you, geyser!" Dave retaliates by grabbing the backpack back, gargling his incoherent language again, roughly translating to how he had more skill in planting than Dipper.

Another tug-of-war breaks out, without Stan or Mabel noticing. Soon after, it escalates to punching, kicking and shoving. Dipper got a cut on his forehead, underneath where a hidden birthmark (a Big/Little Dipper), hence how Dipper got the nickname "Dipper." Crazy Dave got a black eye, with each eye already facing different directions before the fight, somehow. The brawl lasted for about five minutes, and ended due to an unexpected reason. A scream, more importantly, Grunkle Stan's and Mabel's scream, could be heard.

In fear of what happened to the two, both Dipper and Crazy Dave stop fighting and look over in the direction of where the other duo is looking. While their fight occurred, the zombies made some serious progress stumbling towards the home, almost two meters away from it (assuming that in the "Plants vs Zombies" game, every tile is both one meter in length and width). And, more importantly, two meters away from the gang. It was too late to plant even a sunflower, a plant that is responsible for giving energy in order for other plants to grow. It was too late to travel back in time to reset the zombies' progress (Mabel was still busy contemplating the year, and Stan trying to find a p dig out some gold that he found).

All hope seemed to be lost, with the crew tightly closing their eyes, ready for the impact of being infected by the undead. The moans and groans of the zombies becoming more loud as they advanced. The shuffling and the stumbling of the zombies left imprints on unhumane footprints on the ground. The stench of flesh began to clutter in the gang's noses. It was game over…

…

…

…

Well, almost. Fortunately, the sound of stam and a horn alerted the zombies and the crew, causing the zombies to shift their glance towards a locomotive heading straight towards their rotten faces. The sound of zombie destruction was heard, with heads and arms popping off all the zombies as they were hit by the train. It was unclear who was driving the mechanical, old (if you could call it that, during this time period), and sputtering machine, but one thing's for certain. It took down every last zombie. Dipper, Mabel, Dave and Stan all open their eyes very slowly, making sure that what they had heard was real, and sure enough, they could see a train off in the distance. The gang let out a sigh of relief. It was over.

Due to their "victory," Stan, Mabel and Dave all had a dance party, for they lived to see another day. Although the three were occupied with the celebration, Dipper noticed something that one of the zombies dropped right after being hit by the train. It was a journal… no wait… an almanac, still in prime condition. It was a strange, little book. Dipper rapidly flipped through the book, (after all, he spent all summer speed-reading his journal). Each page contained a painting of what Dipper assumed to be either a specific plant, or a zombie. It surprised Dipper that almost no recorded data could be said about anything in the almanac.

Right before Dipper closed the almanac, a strange light could be seen inside of it. When Dipper curiously opened to the pages with the pulses of blinding light emanating from them, Dipper was forced to momentarily close his eyes, and to reopen to find two pages (and flipped once, three) of notes filled with surprisingly easy-to-read text. The pages contain information about the three zombies previously seen on the lawn minutes ago. While looking at the pages, Dipper contemplates whether or not he should show the gang what he found. Who knows what Crazy Dave might do with it. Peering at the happy group, Dipper began to worry a bit. There is more zombies in the book that they have not discovered yet, and could be potentially dangerous in the future, if the crew were to encounter them. One thing for certain was, he couldn't fight with Dave anymore. Even if he didn't appreciate the idea, Dipper recognized that an alliance between him and Dave was necessary for survival.

Nightfall occurred sooner than expected, with everyone entering the wagon to sleep the night away. While the group dozed off, a figure glanced into one of the "windows" of the wagon, only to slip away into the darkness once the sun began to rise twelve hours later.

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AN: I don't know if I told you guys this before, but I will never give up on this fanfic. Even if my storytelling skills are not the best, and it may take a while for me to be done with chapters, I will prevail until the resolution of the story.

AN (continued): One of the zombies I am thinking of is not part of the gold rush, but is based on a very important figure of this time period.

AN (final one, I promise): If you guys like listening to Plants vs Zombies music and remixes of the original game's music, might I suggest the YouTube channel "Noteblock." I find their remixes to be outstanding personally, so maybe check them out. They also do remixes of other games, as well. I do not own, nor am I a part of the channel in any way, shape or form. I am just sharing a channel that I like. **#NotSponsored**.


	10. Almanac part 1

AN: Hey guys. This is not a real chapter, but I just wanted to come up with some cool zombie descriptions for the three basic "Gold Rush" zombies (since that's what PopCap decided to do with their own zombies in each time period of PVZ2). So are my hand-crafted descriptions (Sorry again for procrastinating. I just enjoy doing other things more than typing this story, but is nonetheless fun to tell).

* * *

 **Gold miner zombie**

Toughness: Average

Walk Speed: Average

Zombie Description: A zombie who wears partly blue jeans, showing pale, green skin underneath; a tan sweatshirt (also with holes in it); a black, faded leather cap; and brown hiking boots.

Special Fact: The pickaxe the zombie holds in one hand is actually not used by the zombie, at all. Could it be that the zombie is afraid of a mine collapse? Or is carrying too much weight already? Or perhaps doesn't want it's undead hands to get dirty? Nope. The truth is that the zombie is simply a miner (a teenage zombie) who just loves gold. And brains.

 **Conehead gold miner**

Toughness: Protected

Walk Speed: Average

Zombie Description: It wears the same equipment as the gold miner zombie, but this zombie strapped a canteen on its head instead of simply wearing a leather cap, allowing the zombie to absorb twice as much damage as the gold miner zombie.

Special Fact: Working out in the mines is a tough job (though zombies don't even sweat). Thankfully, this zombie is all set for when breaktime comes along thanks to the water-filled canteen on its head. However, this zombie is often surprised of the negative reviews on the water it shares with its friends, the most common being "the water tastes crappy." Truly, dysentery (a disease that makes you have to poop a lot) is a gift (as well as sarcasm).

 **Buckethead gold miner**

Toughness: Hardened

Walk Speed: Average

Zombie description: It wears the same equipment as the gold miner zombie, but this zombie is wearing a sieve instead of a leather cap, allowing the zombie to absorb three times as much damage as the gold miner zombie.

Special Commercial: Tired of having a boring, old hat? Do you wish to be cool and popular? Are you tired of me asking these questions, and want me to get to the point already? Then buy a sieve! Sieves make great headwear, and are totally in style. Don't wait, call now at xxx-xxx-xxxx! No prices for shipping and handling, except a hoard of zombies on your doorstep. Sieves start at the low, low price of your brain (and possibly other peoples' brains, as well)!

* * *

AN: I promise next chapter I will continue the story arch. I just wanted to give these zombies some descriptions, and to possibly crack a few jokes during the process (I'm no comedian, so sorry if you didn't laugh at the special facts/commercial). The zombies mentioned above are intended to both MALE and FEMALE zombies (and, of course, Gender Sexual Alliance terms). Please review, and thanks to anyone who does! I'm going to reply to as many of you as I can.


	11. Chapter seven: One nightmare

AN: Not much to say here, unlike the other chapters. Sorry for the procrastination, guys. Anyway, here's chapter 9. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Dipper woke up with a scream and shudder the following morning. He periodically woke up that night due to nightmares he had been receiving. The dream starts out at the karaoke party, where everything seemed normal in the long run. The party-goers conversing with each other on the latest news; Stan fanning money in his face in the warm, summer night; and Mabel singing and rocking out on the stage. Things started to change, however, when Soos emerged from the Mystery Shack. The transformation began then, the zombification of the handyman. The guests, staring petrified at the newly formed undead being, were unable to move as Soos advanced towards Dipper. The eyes of the once naive manchild turned into soulless globes of swirling clouds. The heart warming smile on the prior mystery shack admirer transformed into the most depressing frown the world would have ever seen. The pitiful moaning, the scraping of Soos' undead feet against the dirt path, the feeling of loss of control in Soos' body. That's when Dipper woke up.

The guilt of not curing Soos or trying to stop him from entering the zombie-infested wagon flooded Dipper with the cold sensation of guilt. He could have tried harder, he could've shouted louder, he could've stopped Soos in his tracks faster. But it didn't help him save Soos that night. Unfortunately for Dipper, the nightmares didn't stop there. Once Dipper went back to sleep, his mind was plagued again by the same scenario. Except it got worse. Soos, instead of going after Dipper first, began to target the guests. One at a time. The energetic crowd transitioned to a horde of brain hungry zombies. Soulless, relentless, and controlled. Soos even managed to bite Stan, as well as Mabel. Crazy Dave, who appeared out of nowhere, began to cackle softly to himself, turning away from the party and Dipper. Dipper was confused about his behavior. He already knew about Dave's craziness, but this was beyond crazy. It was insanity. When Dipper approached him, Dipper's heart dropped as Dave turned to face him. It wasn't Crazy Dave's face, nor was it even his head. It was Dr. Zomboss. Dipper woke up after that, and as a quick reflex, shouts "AHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Are you okay, Broseph?" Mabel sleepily asks as she rubs her eyes from across the room. Unsurprisingly, Stan didn't manage to wake up from that outburst, nor did Dave. Stan was too busy dreaming about a luxury yacht filled to the brink with gold, while Dave trained himself to wake up only to blood curdling screams of his neighbors and the sound of zombies. Dipper doesn't know how to respond to the question. If he tells her about Soos appearing in his dream, she might feel guilty, too. Lying, on the other hand, could be hard, yet possible. Dipper settles with instead talking about another nightmare he had in the past and "coincidentally" is having now. Mabel buys into his explanation, and goes back to bed, with Dipper wiping unexpected sweat from his forehead as he heard Mabel begin to softly snore again. Dipper sighs. Feeling too afraid of falling asleep for a while after reliving a new variation of a traumatic experience, he'd have to skip his sleep schedule yet again.

An hour passed… soon two… then three. Dipper began to feel droopy, but kept pinching himself and walking around to stay awake. However, at four o'clock, Dipper finally collapses back onto his bed. The dream, instead of happening at the party, happens in a dark room this time. It was quiet. It was pitch dark. It was scary. The floor felt cold and hard. Dipper can't see until an overhead light turns on. Now with dim light filling the room, Dipper finds himself to be in a prison cell. A locked door, no windows, a toilet, and a smelly, dusty mattress. The small room was made of 3 solid plain white walls and bars and the cell door being the other wall. There seemed to be tally marks on the wall as well, made of what Dipper can assume to be chlorophyll. A zombie was also in the cell, as well as some sort of plant shackled to one of the walls. Without any weapon of some kind, Dipper backed into a corner of the cell, desperately pinching himself in order to wake up outside of the dream, but to no avail as the zombie noticed him and began his approach. The zombie slowly crawled towards Dipper, an arm reaching out to grasp Dipper's leg in order to bite him, all the while Dipper hopelessly pinching himself. The foul stench of flesh entered Dipper's nostrils as he pinched. The moans entered Dipper's ears as he pinched. The lost, bloodied and pale face of the zombie striking into Dipper's pupils as he pinched. As the zombie finally reached Dipper, opening its mouth and nearing Dipper's leg, the zombie's head fell off. Sorry, got knocked off.

Behind the dissected zombie seems to be the plant from before, except not chained to the wall anymore. The plant, with shackles still covering its leaves, begins to motion with with its head towards the shackles themselves. Dipper approached the plant, crouching down to see the shackles better, and as Dipper got closer, Dipper was shocked to find a poem on it. It was in perfect English, written in chlorophyll, and it read out to be:

Once a slave stowed away

Never again to see the light of day

Taken away from its family and enge (aka surname)

Is now out to seek revenge.

These weights before weighed me down

Been locked in them since I entered town

But today is the the day this plant is set free

Wake up, Dipper, and you shall see.

Dipper wakes up to find not only the plant in the dream, but a new seed packet under his arm, and a glowing light from the almanac. The time is 10:00 am. Dipper wanders towards the almanac…, with day two of the new zombie apocalypse about to begin.

AN: I am completely against slavery, just so you guys know. Considering I picked the year setting of 1860, one of the years of the Gold Rush period, it also seemed necessary to include a plant like the one I introduced in this chapter. Next chapter will either be a short almanac entry that will be posted soon, or a long chapter with an almanac entry in it, but have it released a later date. I gotta think of the plant's name now... I'm also sorry that the last chapter had nothing to do with the storyline, just a few almanac entries, if you were expecting an actual chapter instead.

Other than that, please review! I'll try to respond to any new reviews that I receive starting from here on out. I also deeply appreciate constructive criticism. For example, I feel like I did ok on this chapter, but I'm not sure because I'm not the best at telling stories, so your opinions on this chapter and any other chapter are welcomed.


	12. I'm sorry (End of the story?)

Hello everyone. I know a lot of you might be sad to hear this, but I revoke on my statement that I would not give up on this story. I feel like I need to.

The thing is, I'm not a good writer. I can hardly tell a story, let alone write one. I'm not motivated as I once was in the beginning. I procrastinate for many days in a row after posting a new chapter, and not do not work on a new chapter during those days, and I only muster up the will to write a chapter for one hour or two on a single night. This is not what I want to do in the future.

I was initially going to have to the gang, (Mabel, Dipper, Stan and Dave) fight Dr. Zomboss in the "present" time of the 2010s, and not include a whole new world to the Plants vs Zombies universe. However, as I advanced on in the story, I began to think more about what I wanted to happen. I feel like if I continue writing this story, I will also not do a good job of painting a foreign world into the fanfic.

I know that perhaps a few of you wanted me to continue, but I'm just not a good candidate for writing stories. HOWEVER, what you can do, if you want the story to continue, is to add onto the story, include your own new plants and zombies into the mix, shift the timeline, or whatever. You can also improve my earlier chapters, if you want to. If you want to use my idea and completely rewrite the story for the better, I'm not going to stop you, instead I'll root for you.

To end my "story" on a positive note, here's an inspirational quote (In case someone does decide to add onto the "story" I have given):

"Success isn't just about what you accomplish in your life, it's what you inspire others to do" (Unkown).

Regardless of this chapter, I hope you guys enjoyed what I believe I lacked to share, and I do hope you improve on it. Thanks for reading!

-blevinp :)


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